While in California a couple weeks ago, we spent a few days at Dillon Beach, which is a tiny beach town surrounded mostly by dairy cows. And there are a few other tiny towns in the same county sharing a common sheriff's office. The following are excerpts from the police report from Dec. 18-24, as published in the local paper, The Point Reyes Light.
December 18th
"At 12:28 a.m. a resident reported returning home to see two people in an old white camper pulling into her driveway." Scary.
"At 9:14 a horse escaped."
"At 6:12 p.m. a man said that a neighbor had just driven across his property, 'dragging items.'"
December 19th
"At 5:30 p.m. someone reported a suspicious circumstance." The old white camper again? Was it "dragging items?"
"At 6:28 a woman reported that "rednecks on meth" had been driving trucks, two of which were now at the gas station, up and down her street." No comment needed here.
"At 6:28 p.m. a resident reported an unwanted subject." Like chemistry or Algebra or what?
December 20th
"At 10:34 a.m. a woman in her 30s dressed in dark clothes was seen screaming profanities and yelling at someone about people stalking her with walkie talkies." It's gonna take more than the sheriff's department to deal with this one.
December 21st
"At 10:25 a.m. a resident reported the theft of several UPS boxes containing linens from a front porch."
"At 5:30 p.m. someone reported a white truck from which an illegal vendor was operating." Darn taco truck.
"At 6:11 p.m. a UPS driver reported that someone had parked illegally, causing him to risk driving off the road." That's alot of UPS-related crime in one day.
December 22nd
"At 3:58 a.m. high winds set off an alarm."
"At 1:14 p.m. someone complained about a white van with turquoise stripes." Who wouldn't be offended by that?
"At 2:40 p.m. a landlord requested a civil standby while a former tenant picked up his belongings." Probably the "rednecks on meth" moving out.
"At 3:36 p.m. someone reported that a man was unable to walk after having jumped off a cliff and landed on his back." Well, don't go jumping off cliffs and this won't be a problem.
"At 6:11 someone reported that a white man in a white truck had followed him home and had gotten out to yell at him about cutting him off." Once again, reference "rednecks on meth."
"At 9:29 p.m. a woman was broken down on a blind curve, facing the wrong way in traffic." Now that would be a legitimate reason to call 911."
At 11:13 p.m. a man reported that his ex-wife may have hired investigators to break into his home and truck and steal legal documents and counterfeit and/or replace them." Unlikely, but possible....I guess.
At 11:13 p.m. a man reported that his ex-wife may have hired investigators to break into his home and truck and steal legal documents and counterfeit and/or replace them." Unlikely, but possible....I guess.
December 23rd.
"At 7:33 deputies arrested someone." Really? Who?
"At 9:14 a.m. a woman wished to speak to deputies about an incident involving her son having sustained injuries after playing with fire and the boy's father having provided false information to doctors, claiming the boy had been abused." This is kind of like jumping off cliffs. Just don't play with fire and it will eliminate alot of problems.
"At 9:38 a.m. a resident wished deputies to tell a neighbor that 'when they tie the dog outside, it barks.'" That's what the police are trained to do.
"At 9:57 a.m. a woman asked deputies to watch while she backed her truck out of a 'very narrow driveway.'" They're trained to do that, too.
"At 5:15 p.m. a woman suspected one of her neighbors of blasting dynamite." Definitely those rednecks again.
"At 8:03 p.m. someone reported an injured 'baby fawn.'" In December? Probably not.
December 24th
"At 4:38 a.m. a woman who believes that "Scientology is out to get her" reported that someone had threatened to destroy and ruin her over the phone." Perhaps the same poor lady from back on the 20th who was worried about being stalked with walkie talkies.
"At 5:21 a.m. a vacation homeowner reported that an unknown car had driven up to the house." As the comforting security announcements in airports and bus stations say, "There are no suspicious people, only suspicious behaviors."
"At 9:54 a.m someone saw an elderly man who was now inside the Bovine Bakery crossing the double yellow line in a green 4-Runner."
"At 11:29 a.m. someone complained about cyclists riding two or three abreast and said it was an ongoing problem. Deputies found the group riding in single file." Shoot! Missed that opportunity to crack down on crime.
"At 7:12 p.m. someone who had fired someone else that day said the latter had placed a note on the former's truck that said, 'Guess what I did to your truck.'" Rednecks, meth, trucks. Recurring themes here.
And last but not least, to round out Christmas Eve....
"At 9:36 p.m. an elderly man drove onto someone's front yard and became lodged on the septic mound." Was it the old guy from the bakery with the 4-Runner? And, more importantly, who has a septic mound large enough to high center a car?
We were nearly incapacitated with laughter while reading these. Hope you got a kick out of them, too:o)
1 comment:
only one who has lived in remote areas(Poplar,MT?) can appreciate these!
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